~Spring Break~

I'm not sure why its considered having a break when that's always the busiest time as far as classwork is concerned. Having two tests the first few days after the break doesn't make it much of a break especially when there are three other big projects due the Monday we go back. I have taken a much needed break. I don't plan to start to work on all the work until at least Wednesday. The patient I was freaking out over was a breeze. I'm not sure why I freak out over some things when I am fully capable of handling without a problem because like I said in the previous post it really wasn't anything new to me. Anxiety has definitely been a problem throughout nursing school. I don't know too many people in my class who don't take things for it, but I haven't been able to bring myself to take anything for it. I would much rather just try to adapt the best I can instead of relying on a drug that I don't feel I personally need because its not a chronic problem for me as it is for others.

~insomnia~

Ok so I can't sleep. I am scared out of my mind. Tomorrow I have a rather difficult patient and it scares me to death. I feel really intimidated right now. I don't really know why either. The patient is totally dependent which I can handle fine that is nothing new to me. They have a trach with a high amt of oxygen and the trach is nothing new to me either. The only new thing about this patient to me is the oxygen with the trach and a PEG. I don't know why I am so scared but I could throw up right about now and I can't sleep at all. This part of nursing school is so miserable. I HATE this feeling and I have had it many times. I seriouslt think I am going to lose my dinner ughhhhhhh I hate this

~Big Day~

Today I actually put in my first application for you know a real grown up job!!! It feels soooo strange to be applying for a job as an RN. I applied for a position in the NICU. I'm not so sure they will be willing to hire a new grad but hey its always worth a shot. The job is at a hospital about an hour away so it would involve relocating but I guess if Im happy its fine. I hope this process goes well!