~hi there~

I haven't posted in a long time. I have meant to many times, but for some reason I don't ever get around to it. I have been very busy. Today was a big day I came so very close to having a nervous breakdown...I was at work when someone said something that got under my nerves and bothered me so much. On the way home I was thinking about all the things I have to get done and how bad I just want to be free of thinking about anything to do with nursing just for a little while. I have a hard time letting it go and just relaxing it is always on my mind ALWAYS. Well I got home and there was a big mess waiting on me that once again just set me off. I remember crashing onto my bed and just crying my eyes out. I was thinking in my head how frustrated I was and just wanting to give it all up. I'm not getting all religious but I put it on the Christian radio station because there was nothing good on the radio and if I was going to be crying my eyes out I wanted some good music. So this song came on that I guess flipped a switch because I stopped crying....jumped out of bed....cleaned the mess that set me off....surfed the internet for a little bit until I was motivated and relaxed enough to do my work....and then I worked for four hours to finish my paper....I don't know what happened BUT I went from in the middle of a breakdown crying my eyes out not being able to function wanting to give up EVERYthing to a point I don't remember that good. I know I got up and did those things BUT I don't remember thinking about getting up and doing them I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't know when or how I calmed down and got myself together in a split second. I'm glad I did get it together because I did get a lot done this afternoon and I feel a lot better about it now. After I finished my work I haven't thought about anything with nursing until now. I have to learn how to let it go if only for a few hours at night or I. am. going. to. go. crazy!
Other than my break down today I have been doing very good. I was sick with a terrible flu for TWO weeks and mind you it was ofcourse the two weeks I had test. I made a 96 on my first OB test and an 84 on my first medsurg test. I wasn't happy with the 84 I know it is a good grade, but I knew the material a lot better than an 84. I have gotten my psyc clinical and clinical work out of the way. I have completed two medsurg clinicals. The first medsurg was an orientation which was great because I'm working at a new hospital. That day I only got to speak with a patient for about an hour ofcourse so I could do the 15 page assessment, meds, lab, and careplans for the week. I hated doing the paperwork, but I did get some good experience communicating with a patient with a trach. The second day I observed in the ICU. It wasn't as intense as I thought it would be, but it was a pretty calm day noone coded and everyone was basically stable all day. I did like the atmosphere there. I think I would like working in an ICU one day.
I finished two of my four OB clinicals, and I got the graded work for it completed my first day so I could get it out of the way. My first day I was supposed to have a laboring patient, but my patient was waiting for a repeat c-section. I didn't get to see the birth because she went back right when we were leaving :( I did get to do a shave prep AND start a catheter for the first time. I really hope I get to see a birth. Labor and delivery is what I have ALWAYS wanted to do since I was little so I really want to see a delivery SO BAD. I don't know if I will be able to see a birth but I am hoping in the next two times I go I will get to see one. The two days my clinical group has been on the OB floor they have only had two laboring patients each day and they were always both in the early stages. Our first day two of the students in my clinical group got to see a delivery so I'm jealous!